Gatsby and School

*Sits down and stares at the wall* One of my posts is empty and I have yet to determine why or how the words went missing. It’s a shame because I can’t remember what I posted in that particular post.

But to the more important thing of why I am making this post. I recently read the Great Gatsby.

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Sexist

So on friday of this week (STORYTIME. I feel like this is going to be the theme of my blog) I was in the computer lab with a couple of friends to complete an assignment and one of the things we were working on was healthcare jobs. We were told to research two therapeutic jobs and two general jobs. Then we’d compose a report on the jobs detailing their tasks, requirements, pay, and licensing. 

Well my friends and I decided to work on it together. 

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Good News

I am officially apart of our schools GSA council.

I am rather happy, and I’m happy for my best friend who go the role of treasurer. She really didn’t want to do anything with the cabinet/council but no one was volunteering for even running in the election of treasurer so she volunteered. Good for her, she lieks paperwork and math. I’m not kidding.

Anyway, no stories just a little bit of good news.

My life

For those who expect a blog about something exciting or motivating I’m sorry. This is not that blog. This blog is about whatever I need to say and right now it’s going to be something sad and hopefully mentally helpful for myself because containing what you are feeling is never a good idea.

I can’t do anything right recently. My girlfriend broke up with me about three weeks ago and I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t stop messing up when talking to her because she wants to be my friend but I still need to tell her about my emotions. She probably doesn’t want to hear it but she wants us to be friends like we were before the relationship. I just… I can’t stop telling her every time I need someone to talk to. I need to tell someone how I’m feeling because I’m full to bursting and I don’t want to burst or break.

In my freshman year of high-school I was very depressed about mid-year. It took everything I had to cheer myself up and move on and the funny thing was I had friends but it didn’t help. Now, this is the end of another year of school, it’s beginning to repeat but it’s so much worse this time. I tell my ex/best-friend about it and she thinks I should talk to a professional. I’m feeling down in the dumps and just terrible, not suicidal, and I know talking to a professional would help many people but I doubt it’d help me. I feel…. exhausted mentally. Just run down and worn out and talking to a professional would just drive me bonkers.

She has a point though. And while I usually talk to her about my emotional states of mind I need to stop doing that because she doesn’t understand anymore. I just… I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m a wreck and falling fast but I can write poetry and I have some great friends. It’ll be easier to catch myself this time. I just hope I catch myself before I hit the ground.

I kinda wish she’d be there to help.