So everyone knows that some romantic reltionships end. Yes. They do indeed (and I extend sorrow and empathy to anyone who has recently been either heart broken or just plain hurt by any relationship). However, once a relationship ends, certain things are established between the individuals involved. Interaction, friendship status, etc. Things involving what kind of relationship will happen afterward generally.
Recently my Ex, who broke up with me and I have yet to figure out how we went from 60 to 0 in the matter of a few words, did some things that really really hurt me and I wish to share. Here’s a few things to do if you both decide a friendship will work:
1.) Give the other person some time before you go and start dating another person. Do you have to? No. Not at all, especially if you are trying to hurt your ex. But if you still care and wish to spare them a little hurt (you can’t spare all of it and that’s unfortunate if you did in fact care) it’s nice to give them some time to get used to the fact you are no longer together.
Well how long is long enough some might ask. That’s up to how intimate you were and whether your ending ended well. In my case we were very intimate and had both expressed that we loved our counter part. A month is not enough for me, I was hurt to discover it had only been a month but that’s me. It really depends on the couple and how long they were together.
Once again, not mandatory…. But nice.
2.) Don’t start lying. Don’t do it. If you were already lying well… There isn’t much to do. But if you didn’t lie to your partner for god’s sake don’t start.
It is more painful to find out you’ve been lied to by someone you used to trust than it is for the truth to come out. This is true 90% of the time, I gurantee it.
Could I be wrong? Yes. But trust me, the truth helps.
3.) Don’t flaunt new relationships around your ex. Like seriously. This is common sense. If they still like you, love you, care for you romantically, it’s gunna hurt for them to see that.
Hang out with your newbie love and let your old love/newly established friend get used to them. Let them get used to the idea that your new love is with you but avoid making them uncomfortable. It’ll help.
I share these things because not everyone wants to hurt their ex. Some still love them but don’t think it’ll work out and wish to protect the friendship rather than risk it all in an intimate relationship. For those of you who don’t fit that scenario there are others that these guidelines work in. Relationships hurt, they take effort and time to get over. Thank you for reading.