My life

For those who expect a blog about something exciting or motivating I’m sorry. This is not that blog. This blog is about whatever I need to say and right now it’s going to be something sad and hopefully mentally helpful for myself because containing what you are feeling is never a good idea.

I can’t do anything right recently. My girlfriend broke up with me about three weeks ago and I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t stop messing up when talking to her because she wants to be my friend but I still need to tell her about my emotions. She probably doesn’t want to hear it but she wants us to be friends like we were before the relationship. I just… I can’t stop telling her every time I need someone to talk to. I need to tell someone how I’m feeling because I’m full to bursting and I don’t want to burst or break.

In my freshman year of high-school I was very depressed about mid-year. It took everything I had to cheer myself up and move on and the funny thing was I had friends but it didn’t help. Now, this is the end of another year of school, it’s beginning to repeat but it’s so much worse this time. I tell my ex/best-friend about it and she thinks I should talk to a professional. I’m feeling down in the dumps and just terrible, not suicidal, and I know talking to a professional would help many people but I doubt it’d help me. I feel…. exhausted mentally. Just run down and worn out and talking to a professional would just drive me bonkers.

She has a point though. And while I usually talk to her about my emotional states of mind I need to stop doing that because she doesn’t understand anymore. I just… I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m a wreck and falling fast but I can write poetry and I have some great friends. It’ll be easier to catch myself this time. I just hope I catch myself before I hit the ground.

I kinda wish she’d be there to help.

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